


Wherein Bro and Signless Film a Cross-Species Porn Movie

by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Crack, Double Penetration in Two Holes, M/M, Porn, Pornstars, Puppets, Sex Toys, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:58:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contains Pail-Free Xenosexual Relationships Between a Male Mutant Troll and Male Human for the Purpose of Exhibitionistic Sexual Gratification, Polyquadranted Individuals Presented in a Neutral or Positive Way, and Puppets Used in Several Perverted Ways, One of Those Puppets Depicting a Rad as Fuck Big-Nosed Allusion to Our Glorious Empress, Which She in Her Wisdom Has Allowed to Keep Existing Because Damn Straig)(t I Got Da Biggest One.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherein Bro and Signless Film a Cross-Species Porn Movie

**Author's Note:**

> *eyes fic* 
> 
> ... Eh, I've written pornier.
> 
> I'm sure. Somewhere.
> 
> _novidactyl asked: 1. Bro/Signless (my rarepair♥) 2.Flush 3.Pornstar AU w/ smuppets for Bro's website (humanstuck or normal species are both fantastic)_

"And really, in the digital age, with shit like tumblr and reddit around, what's going to touch the most people, boring long-ass sermons, or streaming free porn clips that fuck with hemocastist expectations and contain gleeful and unapologetic quadrant-smearing?"

On the other side of his bed, unzipping his pants, Signless laughed quietly. "Bro, I've _already_ agreed to film this movie with you."

Bro shrugged, nodded, kept ogling. The guy's pants would be hilarious if he didn't fill them so well. Bro was also a fan of the zipper being placed on the side, from under the arm to the hip; the way it unveiled him as the cloth fell away was especially interesting.

"Anyways, I don't think this would count as quadrant-smearing, as you are not a troll in any way, shape or form." His eyes gleamed. Teasing, Bro was almost sure. Bro hadn't known him very long -- he knew Psii, mostly, who was an awesome black lay and a pretty good pal, and Doll who made him want to give that bisexual thing another go just so he could get a better ogle at her ink -- but he'd known Signless long enough to know that he was perfectly aware he could be pedantic, and was usually unapologetic about finding people's reactions to it hilarious.

"Cross-species could still count as hemofucking," Bro replied casually, and carefully didn't smirk when a flash of real annoyance crossed Signless' features, until he realized Bro was saying that shit deliberately.

"Well. To most blood purists it _is_ arguably worse."

"Mmh."

The leggings fell away. Signless stepped out of them. He was mid-sized for a human -- small for a troll, though his shoulders were nice and wide, and he could put on some serious muscle if he'd tried but saw no reason to try. Bro briefly considered a sandwich consisting of him and his pocket beefcake descendant, but that guy being in Dave's classes at the university meant he had to be pretty close to eighteen still, so never mind.

"Well, if the stick-dick doesn't scare 'em off, maybe the smuppet dick will. I've got a fuchsia one if you wanna."

That startled a laugh out of Signless. Bro smirked thinly and lobbed it at him, and moved behind the camera.

"Okay, let's start. Sit down, babe, and introduce yourself."

Signless sat on the bed, smuppets tumbling out of their piles and against his thighs as the mattress dipped. He sat the fuchsia one on his lap, facing ahead. The guy had to be a natural, because its proboscis -- one of the biggest Bro had ever made, gotta give credit where credit is due -- was now swinging semi-menacingly straight at the camera, its little dead eyes staring ahead like the guy's lap was a throne.

It was pretty visible he was naked underneath. That tease.

"Hello, it's my pleasure to be here today. You may refer to me as Signless. I'm sixteen sweeps, or thirty-five year old. I'm here today with you because my quadrantmate referred me to Director Vibronic for, I quote, excellent dickings. I'm looking forward to double-checking his assertion."

The way he smiled, pleasant with his teeth on display made Bro want to kiss him kind of a lot. That lovely little asshole.

"I'm looking forward to double-dicking parts of you that start with 'ass' and don't end in 'ertion'," Bro drawled from behind the camera. Signless arched an eyebrow at him, unflappable and amused.

His hand was petting the smuppet's belly, almost negligently, like he did it without even noticing. Fuck, this was going to be good.

"Howzabout you pick a favorite from the pile," he suggested.

Signless really didn't need much direction. He brought the fuchsia smuppet up to his chest in a hug as he leaned on his hip to rummage through the pile, legs stretching out before him. Bro panned the camera down them and then up. His crotch was uncovered now, but nothing showed from that position, sheath still mostly closed.

"Hm. This one is a gorgeous gold. Does it vibrate? Nice." It was dumped on his lap. "Oh, thick." A green joined the first; and then a pure black one, which he stared at for a second before laughing. "Oh dear, does this one have shoulder spines. What's its trick?"

Bro smirked. "Show you in a minute. Get to know 'em some?"

"Naturally." He arranged them on his lap, turned to face him, looked down at them with thoughtful seriousness, the fuchsia one still held against his chest. "Hello, gentlebeings." His finger was trailing up and down the golden one's proboscis. He clicked on the vibrator, brought it up to feel against his chest, trailed it down his belly. Bro zoomed in.

"Green one vibrates too. By the way."

" _Excellent_."

The black and fuchsia ones were arranged into a hug to the side, and then he was teasing himself again, down along his thighs, and back up the inside of them, once, twice before he pressed the green one's thick length against the side of his sheath and kept it there.

Bro zoomed real close on that, on the way the sheath could be seen filling with his thickening bulge, the first peek of its violently red tip. It left a wet streak on the gold one's vinyl, a contrast Bro made sure to catch as well.

"Nice, really nice. Lay down and show us your nook, babe. Mm. That looks tight."

"It gets a lot of exercise," Signless replied, voice airy but for the tight little note of arousal, ruthlessly controlled.

"Mm, fuck yes, those are the best. I think Goldie wants to check it out, whaddya say?"

Signless let out a breathless laugh, and teased the edges of his nook with the proboscis before slipping the tip in. He purred deep-chested when the first inch went in; half of the rest glided in easily after it before he paused. "Mnh. Stiff."

"Yeah, human make, what can you do. We like stiff things."

"I don't mind them either," Signless replied distractedly, and slowly eased the toy deeper in, until its face was pressed to his taint, belly up. Signless didn't need coaching to bring it up against his belly, bulge trapped between the toy and his body. He let out a faintly strained chuckle at the jutting posterior suddenly facing him, and pressed down on the toy in a slow rolling movement.

Bro filmed the way his toes curled, the way his calves strained, the tip of his bulge escaping to the side of the smuppet, leaving trails over its plush ass trying to grab onto it.

Then he left the camera alone, and pulled off his shirt, and stepped in, jeans open, erection straining his boxers. He pushed some of the pile away to sit; Signless blinked up at him, humming a question. The brat was still pretending disinterested, in control. Bro leaned over him, covered Signless's hand with his gloved one.

Pumped, hard. Signless arched off the bed.

"How deep is it? You like the vibration, huh. You like the bulge hugs better."

"Mnh. I must admit--"

"Shh. Poor dude worked well, but it won't get you off like this." Bro guided it out. Signless' thighs shook, and he frowned up at him, confused. Bro handed him the stained smuppet, picked up the green one. "You should thank him."

He tugged on his thigh discreetly to arrange him better for the camera, caressed and knead the inside of his thigh until it flushed faintly pink. Up there Signless was still staring dubiously at Goldie, so Bro pressed the thick length of Greenie against his slit and turned it on straight to the maximum vibration, for encouragement.

He almost got kicked in the face. He laughed, pinning Signless' knee down, pressed the toy harder against his nook. "Jesus. Come on, honey, show your appreciation. Greenie won't fuck you if you can't be nice to his pal. Yes -- yes, just like that."

"Greenie's obviously -- obviously a woman," Signless panted, and licked up some more translucent pink fluid off the smuppet's nose. Bro's dick jumped.

Working that one in took more work; he had to turn the vibrator way down, or this would be finished much too soon. In fact -- considering the state of his bulge, lashing needily around...

He left greenie up only halfway in Signless, reached over him for the black one. "You liked the bulge hugs too, right."

He checked with a finger between the smuppet's ass cheeks -- yeah, it was lubed. After that it was easy to feed the tip of Signless' bulge to it and watch the whole length ripple and muscle its way in, snake wave after wave. The toy bulged.

"You all in?" Bro asked. "Feels good? Tight enough?"

"Ff -- ah. Yes. Very much, very much yes."

"Good," Bro said, "let's make sure it doesn't slip off."

The elastic ring constricted around the root of Signless' bulge; he jumped, the puppet bouncing around obscenely across his thighs and back onto his belly. Bro shoved a hand between his gray thighs and pushed the green toy back in, two-thirds of the way up.

" _Fuck!_ "

Heh.

"Well, you know," Bro said patiently, (his dick ached) "This one _is_ modeled after a drone. Ain't gonna go without its pint of jizz." And he turned the vibrator on.

Signless convulsed, flipped onto his belly -- to get away from it or to rut it into the mattress, Bro wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. He pinned him down with one hand on the back of his neck, made sure they were still positioned right -- perfect. A little tug and Signless' spread thighs were aimed right at the camera. The green toy had fallen out; Bro pinned one of his legs down with his, and went back to fucking him open with it as the black smuppet dangled under his belly, jerking with each twitch and lash of his bulge.

"Ah, ah, _fuck,_ I need -- Bro --"

"More?" Bro asked idly. Signless growled at him. Bro hadn't thought he had enough fight in him left for that; hot. "Taking that as a yes."

He had a tube of lube in his pocket; he took it out of view of the camera, opened it, slicked Goldie's proboscis back up.

Working his tight little asshole open ws a job and a half, considering Signless kept jerking and thrusting under him, and clenching tight all over again every time another wave of pleasure raked him. "Shh, here comes the double dicking. That's a good boy."

He left him alone for a little bit after it was all the way in, watched him shake and rock pointlessly, then pinned him down again with a knee on his back, pulled the green toy out to show off how open his nook was now. He slid two fingers in, crooked them to spread him open for the camera. "Look at that. This is the most gorgeous color I've ever seen. Like waving a 'fuck here' sign at an amorous bull."

Signless growled weakly, groaned, inner muscles clenching around Bro's fingers. Bro nodded.

"Yeah, time to bring in Pinkie, she's gonna feel neglected, the spoiled little thing."

That one was pretty huge, and ribbed, and it wasn't half of the way in when Signless had his first dry orgasm.

Bro pumped himself slowly through his boxers as he watched him ride it out. Goddamn but he was gorgeous. When he was done he rolled on his side and cracked an eye open to glare a challenge at Bro, and then smiled, as if to say, 'this is so fun, you asshole.'

Bro leaned in to kiss him lightly on the mouth, and pushed both smuppets inside him at once.

He came another two times before Bro turned off the pink one's vibrator, though he left the yellow one's on, left him fully stuffed. Signless' eyes were glazed this time when he looked up at Bro, his hand clumsy when he felt around for his thigh and dragged himself up to drop his head on Bro's knee.

"Time to bring it to an end?" Bro asked.

Signless gave a considering hum, and then nodded. Bro spent a few seconds petting his hair for no reason at all, just because he was gorgeous and had done well.

"Where do you want my dick, darling? Hey, hey. Babe. Where do you want my dick. Do you want to suck on -- ooh, oh fuck, yes, that's a good boy." He petted his head shakily as Signless swallowed him, hot tongue and tight lips, "Yes, that's good, you're good, but you're tired as hell, look at you, so sloppy."

He let him suck for another handful of seconds -- shit, it still felt good -- before pulling free.

"Your nook's gonna feel real nice and sloppy right now, after Pinkie, right? But your ass would feel tighter, which one do you want?"

Signless waved his hand vaguely, as if to say whichever.

Okay then. Even with cross-species porn and the interest of male humans in dude-nook, anal was still considered kinkier. That and as a gay guy Bro didn't mind nook so long as it was dude-nook, but he had to admit, anal was more familiar.

That and his ass was fucking gorgeous. Bro straddled his thighs and dragged him along on the bed, prompting a groan when his bulge, still trapped in the drone-smuppet, was jostled. Bro worked a hand underneath him and gave it a good squeeze, because he was an asshole and it felt damn good to feel him jump between his thighs.

He reached for the camera, tilted it down so it would catch that gorgeous ass, kneading it for a little bit before he pulled the gold smuppet out.

"Gorgeous. Dude, your ass is out of this world."

He took himself in hand, pressed down until the head of his dick popped in, and pushed slow and unrelenting until his hips were pressed tight to his ass. He could feel the fuchsia dicknose up Signless' nook a bit.

He fucked him slow and thorough, until his moans started back up, and then harder until he was the one who was close, and then he heaved the two of them up in a maneuver he had repeated a dozen times before he could manage it without accidents, until they were seated at the edge of the bed, Signless impaled on his dick, stuffed full of Pinkie, and his bulge fighting exhausted to either escape from the black one, or come, or both.

"Hey, babe, can you reach down? Yeah, that's a good boy, do something for me."

"Mnnnh?"

God, he was all loose and fucked into exhaustion on Bro's lap. Bro sneaked his arms around his waist and hugged him tight, thrust up inside him just because. So good. _So_ good. "Turn Pinkie back on, and you get a reward."

"Oh _fuck_ no. Fuck you, this is stupid, you're going to kill me with puppet bulge."

Bro burst out laughing against his neck. "Fuck yeah, I am, and you'll like it." He softened his voice, coaxing. "I bet you my own ass, c'mon, hon, you can do it."

Hissing quietly, Signless felt around under him, a hand holding the black one out of the way. Bro knew the second he'd turned the vibrator back on -- even if he couldn't feel it, he couldn't have missed the way Signless clenched around his dick.

He reached down and undid the clasp of the ring that kept Signless from coming with his bulge. A second later he was convulsing on Bro's lap, riding his dick for all he was worth, the black smuppet filling with his material, visibly stretched, before it started dripping out and all over their thighs.

"Whoops, Drone-chan has had a bucket malfunction," he whispered in Signless' ear, and grinned in his ear as his new porn star had an epic laughing fit on his lap.

\--

Later in the shower he washed him down -- because Signless was too tired to stand and wash both -- and Signless decided to lean into his chest and hug him.

"That was a fascinating experience," he said, muffled into his chest and by the water. "The next time I'll be using them on you."

"Hey, hey," Bro went, without really thinking about it. "I don't loan my smuppets on the first date."

"It'll be the second," Signless pointed out, lifting a finger but not his head. Shit but he was adorable. His eyes were closed.

"Huh, right." Had today been a date? Heh, for a guy like him it totally could be. "Yeah, then, okay."


End file.
